Get Going Workshops

by Joanne Levy-Prewitt

What To do When Mom And Dad Can’t Help Pay For College

Q: I am a sophomore in high school. I get mostly B's, and I play soccer. I love soccer, but don't think I am good enough to play in college. I have no idea what I want to study in college or where I'd like to go.

My problem is that my parents are refusing to pay for college. They say they can afford to pay but, since they paid for their own college education, they think I should pay for mine. They will fill out financial aid forms, but doubt we will get any money. I am not a strong enough student or athlete to get a scholarship, so I really don't know what to do. I work in the summer and can save some money, but soccer takes up too much time for me to work during the school year. How can I pay for college?

A: Parents are not legally obligated to pay for their child's college education. While it has become an accepted practice for parents to pay to educate their children through college, some parents, for many reasons, do not wish to do so.

Students who do not have parents or have other dire circumstances can often prove their financial independence to colleges, and can apply for financial aid without having their parents' income considered. However, colleges won't give you money simply because your parents won't pay for it.

"It's hard to become an independent student," says Matt Malatesta, director of financial aid at Hamilton College in Clinton, N.Y. "Unless there are cases of abandonment or neglect, the student is considered as part of that family for federal student aid purposes, and institutional aid, as well."

Malatesta told me that the federal formulas expect parents to contribute: "We see situations like this often, where parents won't pay. Sometimes parents will pay for the first year and then tell students they are on their own. That's difficult, too. We try to assess the financial strength of the family, and determine that the family has the ability to contribute a certain amount of money. The students are often caught in the middle."

Ask your parents to call the financial aid office at a few colleges to get an idea of their eligibility for aid. A conversation with a financial aid officer might help them understand the true costs of college and the enormity of requiring you to finance your own education. I'm glad they are willing to complete financial aid forms, because they will need to do that if you decide to take out student loans.

Perhaps you can negotiate with your parents. I suggest creating a chart that reflects the difference between your expected (minimum wage) income and the cost of education at various schools. Ask them if they can contribute anything. Are they willing to pay for your food while at college? Will they pay for the second half of college if you attend community college for the first half?

However, I think it would be wise for you to be realistic and develop a plan. I'm glad you want to attend college, and unless you (or some other family member) can convince your parents to contribute something, you will need plenty of determination. If you live at home and work part-time while attending college -- unless your parents require that you pay rent or meal expenses -- you can certainly afford community college, and possibly a state college with a small student loan. You'll have to decide how much you are comfortable borrowing, and educate yourself about the risks and responsibilities of taking out loans.

I hope that your parents' decision won't discourage you. Paying for your own education in today's market will not be easy, but it is not impossible, either. You will need to work hard and be flexible, but ultimately you will be rewarded with the satisfaction of knowing that you did it yourself.

COPYRIGHT 2007 JOANNE LEVY-PREWITT