Get Going Workshops

by Joanne Levy-Prewitt

Bright Students Uncertain Future Perplexes Parents

Q: I'm sure you hear this all the time, but my son is very smart. He was in a gifted program in elementary school, but due to attention and focus issues, he ended up at a private middle school for learning-disabled students. During his freshman year at a charter high school, he was not challenged enough, so our last resort was independent study. He thrived, and whizzed through high school curriculum in less than two years, completing high school a year early. He did not take the SAT or ACT.

However, he hates schoolwork, has never written more than a two-page essay and barely passed algebra. He loves music, computers and motorcycles, and now expresses interest in becoming an auto mechanic. He is taking a community college course in piano now. He's been in the class for two months, and he already plays the piano as if he's been taking lessons for five years.

We've told him that he must take general education courses toward an associate's degree at the community college, and hope he will find something that will motivate him academically enough to transfer to a four-year university. As much as I believe that he must find his own motivation, I am frustrated as I wait for that to happen. What can I do to help him?

A: I once had a house painter who had read more philosophy than any of my college-educated friends. While he painted, he listened to classical music, and on his lunch break, he read Shakespeare. He was as brilliant, articulate and interesting as any college professor I've known, yet he never graduated from college. He had taken dozens of community college classes, but only those he enjoyed. He loved the zen -- the ritual and meditative qualities -- of house painting, and he found satisfaction in a simple job done well.

My point is that a formal education is not for everyone, and that your son might not necessarily waste his talents by forgoing a traditional education.

I often hear from parents of very bright learning-disabled children who have struggled to balance their children's needs with the realistic goal of helping them find their place in life. Dare I say this, but not everyone should be college-bound. It's possible that this period of his life, instead of attending college, will be about career and self-exploration.

However, I am troubled by the fact that your son has not mastered higher math or learned to write a basic essay. I agree with your requirements that he take a series of basic general education courses before considering a four-year degree. Even auto mechanics can benefit from a strong foundation in math and writing, and since no one knows what his future holds, he'd be well-advised to have those skills. I also agree that there is still a possibility that he might find something that will really excite him academically, and that a few general education courses will prepare him for a four-year degree if he chooses to go that route later.

For now, maybe you can negotiate a deal with him: If you support his exploration of auto mechanics (and try to find him a good mentor in this area), ask him to agree to take some general education courses while keeping an open mind about his future.
Meanwhile, I'd back off from discussing a four-year degree or the need to commit to anything right now. If you're not comfortable with an open-ended limit to his exploration, set a date at which he will make some sort of commitment to either a career or education path, then set clear goals to help him stay on track. Your son needs to find his own way with your guidance, and I believe that he needs your patience and support more than anything.

COPYRIGHT 2007 JOANNE LEVY-PREWITT